When the Wrestle Leads You Back to Trust

I have been in a wrestle.

Not the kind you talk about easily, but the kind that settles deep in your ribs and keeps you awake longer than you want to admit.

A wrestle of my life, really. I have found myself whispering questions into the dark, asking the heavens if they see me, if they notice what feels like it is slowly crumbling around me.

I know God knows all things, yet there are moments when the weight of the unknown makes me wonder if He sees this particular ache.

This morning, during my study, three quiet words rose from the page.

Trust in the Lord.

They appeared once, then again, and then a third time. And when something comes in threes, I tend to pay attention. It felt a little like a gentle nudge, or perhaps a reminder that heaven is paying attention, even when my vision feels blurred.

A moment later, Proverbs found me. Those words that have steadied so many before me.

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart,

and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge Him,

and He shall direct thy paths." (prov 3:5-6)

I felt something soften, although I wouldn’t say everything settled.

I think trust rarely arrives as a sudden calm.

It often comes as a slow return, a choice made again and again.

And to be honest, part of me wanted to argue with it.

Trusting feels simpler when life feels steady.

Much harder when you’re carrying unanswered questions.

Then, in my study, I was guided to Nephi's great psalm (2Nephi 4:34), almost as if he wanted to add his voice to the conversation. "O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh."

I love that he uses forever. Trust is not a one time moment. It is an ongoing turning toward God instead of toward fear, or speculation, or the shaky scaffolding of our own understanding.

Lately, I have felt the pull to fill in the gaps with my own theories, to reach for explanations that might quiet the discomfort. But I also know that excessive speculation never strengthens faith. It distracts me. It draws me away from the personal revelation the Lord intends to give in His timing, not mine.

So today, I am taking my wrestle to the temple. All my questions, all my fears, my uncertainty, my ache for clarity. And I will sit there with the truth that God loves His children and will surely do what is best for each one. Even when I cannot see the whole plan. Especially then.

And to add to my study, I got a random (who believes in random when you are looking for direction and answers?) The sweet lady shared a photo with these words "what you want, wants you. Relax about it. Let it come"

I do not have all the answers... Some days I do not even know the right questions.

But I do have an invitation, offered three times in one morning. Trust in the Lord.

So I will.

Perhaps imperfectly.

Perhaps with trembling hands.

But I will keep walking forward on the covenant path, trusting that He will direct my steps, even in the middle of the wrestle.