Looking Forward When Your Heart Keeps Looking Back

There was a time in my life when I believed growth meant revisiting the past over and over again.

I thought if I could just understand everything, every decision, every relationship... every moment I wished had gone differently... then maybe I could finally feel peace.

So... I replayed conversations in my mind.

I questioned impressions I once felt sure about.

I wondered if I had missed God somewhere along the way.

Maybe you have done that too.

You move forward on the outside.

Life keeps happening.

Callings change, children grow, new opportunities come.

But internally,,,part of you stays parked somewhere behind you, still trying to rewrite what already happened.

I did not realize how exhausting that was until one morning a simple thought settled into my heart while I was praying.

God rarely asks us to move forward while staring backward.

It reminded me of Lot’s wife.

Her story used to feel harsh to me.

Why such a serious consequence for simply looking back?

But the older I get, the more human her response feels.

She had just left everything familiar. Her home. Her memories. Her life.

Looking back makes sense when the past still feels safer than the unknown future.

And yet the Lord was leading them somewhere new.

I wonder if sometimes we do the same thing spiritually.

We have repented, been forgiven, even grown, but we keep revisiting old versions of ourselves as if they still define who we are.

We look in the rearview mirror and call it responsibility.

We replay mistakes and call it humility.

We hold onto regret and call it learning.

But grace does not work that way.

The Savior does not continually direct our attention to who we used to be.

He invites us toward who we are becoming.

There is a reason the windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror.

Yes, the past has purpose.

It teaches.

It softens.

It refines.

But it was never meant to become the direction of our lives.

Lately, I have been practicing something small.

When old thoughts resurface, when regret or second guessing shows up again, I pause and ask, "Lord, where are You leading me now?"

Not then.

Not back there.

Now.

And almost every time...peace follows when my focus shifts forward.

Maybe today the invitation is simply this, notice where your eyes keep drifting backward.

Then gently turn them ahead again.

Trust that the road God is guiding you toward holds more redemption than anything behind you ever could.

Your future with Him is still unfolding.